"Am I normal?"

I belong to several boards. I post from time to time on these boards. Not always, because I really don't like interacting with the Zombies.

Any, oddly enough, sex seems to be a common topic. (This is the Internet after all.)

You see, I like talking about sex. I like thinking about sex. I just like sex.

It helps that sex is awesome.

Anyway....One of the boards I frequent has a Sexually Explicit area. This board is also frequented by minors. (As you may have guessed I am not a minor.)

Now while it isn't explicitly against the ToS for one of the youngn's to post within the Sex area, there is a whole host of rules about how they are to be treated. (Which is good, because if you don't have a post about not sending pics of your dick to a 14 year old some people wouldn't know not to do it.)

So on to the bulk of this story.

I'm tooling around the forum and I find a post with the above title.

The poster states that she sometimes masturbates to girl-on-girl porn. She goes on to state that she has been doing this for awhile, and she enjoys it. Then she asks the question.

The post already has several responses indicating this this is normal and she is fine and she should masturbate to whatever floats her boat.

I was formulating my own response when I glance over at her profile pic and notice the info box below it indicates she it 14.

Which causes me to reformulate my response.

"No, you're not."

The zombies swarmed over this. Within hours there were more responses to my "No, you're not" than there were to the origin post. (Consider me a thread-jacker.)

Now let me say, I knew full well what I was doing. I knew the zombies would react as such. I intended it. Because sometimes I just feel like being a dick.

Now once they are all riled up I get to swoop in and explain my comment using my twisted logic.

But there's a hitch...Apparently the thread garnered the attention of a Mod who felt that the topic and poster sort of violated the ToS, or at least skirted the edge of the rules enough to get the thread locked and then deleted before I could respond.

So I will subject you to my intended rebuttal:

Before everyone drives themselves into too much of a lather, allow me to explain.

First I'm going to make three main assumptions.

1) The OP is actually a 14 year old girl, instead of a 38 year old guy who gets he jollies by pretending to be a 14 year old girl and talking about masturbation to strangers on the internet. (This is most likely the biggest assumption.)

2) You are neurotypical, without any undiagnosed psychological disorders (or unmentioned disorders), and not simply craving attention. (Again, a big assumption.)

3) You really wish to know if you are "normal".

Now, we're going to skip over the implied meta-ethical question "What is Normal?" for a moment.

But we do have to two statements about "Normal", so that we're all on the same page. One is that "Normal" is situational. And two is that "Normal" is a spectrum.

So my (mostly rhetorical, because I'm going to posit my own answers) question to you is, what "Normal" are you asking about?

If you are talking about your the social norm of your local group, here's what I suggest.

Poll you friends, family, and peer group. (I suggest using a double blind, sampling survey. For best results. No need to ask everyone, just 10% or so.)

Here's my suggestion for the question:

(Pick the answer that best fits you.)

How often do you engage in self-pleasure while viewing pornography involving two member of the same sex, who's sex is the same as your.

1) Always
2) Often
3) Sometimes
4) Rarely
5) Never

Then compile the results. If 50.1% or more answer "Sometimes" or higher, then you're "Normal" for your real world social group.

Because of the propensity of people your age to deny latent homosexuality, and the rampant undercurrent of irrational homophobia in this country, I expect the results to come out as follows:

1) 9%
2) 2%
3) 2%
4) 2%
5) 85%

It seems only about 14% of females within you age group (11-14) self-identify as bisexual. (Stats)

So, I'm going to with my original statement.

No, you're not.

If you are asking if you are "Normal" in relation to this forum...well my answer is still "No, you're not."

Over the the BDSM thread there is a guy he loves to have a woman wrap a belt around his neck while he humps a pillow until he has an orgasm while watching urination porn.

You're actually a bit vanilla. And not even cool french vanilla. You're not even Ice cream. You're not even served in a bowl. You're like Iced Milk, served on a paper plate with a plain old disposable plastic picnic spoon.

You're sub normal.

And if you're asking in relation to the Net in general...well you're barely a blip on the radar.

Now...enough of me being asinine.

If my three above assumptions are correct and you really want to know then my answer is, "No, you're not".

Not for masturbating to girl-on-girl, that's fine. Everyone explores their sexuality in one form or another. Something we find arousing in erotica and fantasy, does not necessarily dictate our standard sexual preferences. (It doesn't make you gay, not that there is anything wrong with that.) You could be bisexual, you're still developing.

Makes you "not normal" is the fact that you are 14 and posting about your masturbatory habits on a public forum. A place where, what amounts to, everyone with a computer can read it. (Current estimations state that there are a billion and a half people on the net). And your comments will be around forever. (Don't bother deleting it now, other people have quoted it, and even so the whole forum is trapped in the Wayback by now.)

So, let me sum up. No, you're not" normal...but who the hell cares.


So that would have been my response...if the zombies hadn't gone ape shit and gotten the thread locked and deleted.

But in truth I left a little bit out.

I think she is pretty normal for a 14 year old. Self-doubt is normal for her age. As is masturbation. And girl on girl is about the single most common kind of porn in existence.

Hell...its may favorite too.