Phishing is a waiting game...

Just got a call. ME: *looks at phone, 202-311-2565* Hummm... D.C. I don't know anyone in D.C. *answers phone* Hello? CALLER: (Broken English, not judging. We are the melting pot) Hello Sir, you have been selected to receive a $9000 payment from the U.S. Loan Service. Would you like that? ME: *almost hangs up, then thinks for a second. The longer I keep this guy on the phone the less time he has to fuck with someone else.* Sure, how do I do that? CALLER: Are you interested? ME: Yes. CALLER: Very good sir. You will have to follow my directions exactly to receive your $9000. Are interested? ME: *Rolls eyes* Yes. CALLER: Good. We will have to route (pronounced RouTee) your money though a bank account or credit card. Do you have a Bank account or a credit card? ME: Yes. CALLER: To get your money to you we will need your information. What bank are you with? ME: Bank of America (my former bank) CALLER: Ok, I will need you (not your) account number. ME: Ok are you ready? CALLER: Yes. ME: *really fast* 31415929 (Pie to the 8th place) CALLER: I'm sorry I didn't understand. Can I have your account number? ME: Sure. *kind of fast* 2153405980. CALLER: 2153405980? ME: No, 215340580 CALLER: 215340590? ME: Yes. CALLER: Ok, we will need a routing number. Can I have that? ME: Sure, can you hold on for a moment, I have to look that up, I can't remember it off the top of my head. CALLER: Yes Sir. ME: *puts phone on mute and goes back to watching Supernatural.* *Several minutes pass. He must really be working it because he held for a long time* CALLER: *Finally* Sir? Sir? ME: *unmutes phone* Sorry I had to look it up. Ready? CALLER: *Practically dripping with excitement* Yes. ME: Ummm How much was it again? CALLER: $9000. ME: And who did you say you were with? CALLER: Ummm... The U.S. department of Loans. ME: Is that with the IRS or the DoD? CALLER: Ummmm... The U.S. Department of loans. ME: Ok. I'm sorry, but I am still looking for that number, is there anything else you can ask me while I look? CALLER: Ummm... Yes. Can I have your name? First and last. ME: *wonders how I was chosen if they don't have my Name* Conner. C O N N E R. CALLER: Conner. ME: Yes. CALLER: And your last name? ME: McCloud. M C C L O U D. (Hat tip to Ray) CALLER: McCloud? ME: Yes. CALLER: And how old are you? ME: I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. CALLER: I'm sorry. ME: *Rolls eyes* 56 (first number to pop into my head) CALLER: Are you married? ME: Widower, my first marriage didn't work out too well. CALLER: Oh Sir, I am sorry. May I have your zip code?" ME: 37217 (Not my zip) CALLER: Are you employed or unemployed? ME: I am employed. CALLER: And where do you work? ME: TBI. *Quickly* Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. CALLER: *loooooong pause* I'm sorry?!? ME: We monitor cows in Tennessee. Its not a fabulous job, but someone has to do it. CALLER: Oh OK. You will need my call back number and your access code. ME: OK. I need to get a pin, can you hold on for a moment. (Mutes the phone and goes back to watching Supernatural. I have to admit, this guy is working for it.) CALLER: Sir? ME: Yes... Sorry couldn't find a pen. But I have one now. CALLER: Ok my call back number is 202-756-6468 If they do not answer you may have to call back several times, they may be busy. (Not the number he called from. A quick google search shows it is a number for the U.S. treasury. Nice touch.) (I played like I didn't quite get the number, I made him repeat it like 5 times.) ME: OK. CALLER: Your account number is JA9019. (I confused JA with J0 and made him repeat it like 5 times again.) ME: Ok. CALLER: Please don't share that number with anyone or you will have to start the process over again. (Good advice from a Phisher) You can call that number and they will process your $9000. Is there anything I can do for you today? ME: *YES, he forgot about the tracking number* Nope, that will be all. (He hangs up and I type this out and go back to watching Supernatural.)